Mental Health gay_assumption

Published on February 28th, 2014 | by Healthy Gay Lifestyles

What I Don’t Know About Being Gay

by Rick Clemons

I never thought that once I came out of the closet that I would continue to stand on moving sand about my sexuality. Not really questioning it, just always finding it interesting that no matter how old I get (even at 50) I still don’t know as much as I thought I would about being gay.

In fact, as I celebrated my 50th birthday just a little over a month ago, this thought really hung over me (no pun intended). As I contemplated everything from being a parent to living in a long term relationship with a guy I adore, I still uncovered a few things I don’t know about being gay. Why? Because, being gay is an evolution of a lifetime.

Here’s what I still don’t know about being gay.

  • I don’t know why some guys are more effeminate than others, but I really don’t give a damn.
  • I don’t know how I’ll cope when the day comes that I might lose my partner, but there’s no point worrying about it.
  • I don’t know if my grandchildren will accept me, but I’ll shower them with love no matter what.
  • I don’t know who will be the first gay president, but I’ll smile regardless of whether I’m here to see it or not.
  • I don’t know if my sexual energy will stay with me, but I’ll sure enjoy it while I can.
  • I don’t know when we’ll see full equality, but I’ll remember how hard we fought to achieve it.
  • I don’t know where the next generations will take the gay movement, but I’m glad I helped them have it easier.
  • I don’t know why lack of self-confidence continues to plague gay men, but I’m excited each time I hear a guy say, “I’m enough!”
  • I don’t know how many years it will take to heal the ignorance about homosexuality, but I do know “It does get better!”
  • I don’t know when “coming out” will no longer be part of our vocabulary, but I’m glad I spent my life helping those who needed the support.

The point of today’s article, really isn’t about “What I Don’t Know About Being Gay.” It’s what I do know, and how much more energizing, fun, happy it makes me when I focus on, “What I Do Know,” that matters. And, if it happens to do with me being gay, then rainbow happy dances all around for everyone!


Rick’s a Certified Professional Coach (CPC) who’s been featured on The Ricki Lake Show, Huffington Post, and is a highly sought after radio show guest, blogger, author, and Sex Coach U Faculty Member. He resides in Riverside, California with his partner of 12 years (whoa dude), two teenage daughters (whoa again dude), cats Herman and Lilly (sorry no dogs), and a 200+ bottle wine collection, minus what he drank while writing this article.

Hook-up with Rick at or by calling 949.637.1838.

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