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Published on June 27th, 2012 | by Healthy Gay Lifestyles

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Stop the Adult Bully!

By Tom Luke

You would think that as adults mature through life, that they would stop bullying behaviors of their youth. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Sadly, adults can be bullies, and are more likely to use verbal bullying as opposed to physical bullying. The goal of adult bullying is to gain power over another person, and make himself the dominant adult. They try to humiliate victims and show who is boss.

There are many different types of bullies and in many different environments. There are verbal bullies, physical bullies, serial bullies, gang bullies, cyber bullies, subordinate bullies, unwitting bullies, work bullies, sadistic bullies, psychotic and sociopathic bullies. There bullies at work, at home, in schools, in governments, in religious organizations, online, and in our social cliques.

Tips To Prepare You

  • You are not to blame, don’t deserve to be bullied and have a right to get it stopped.
  • You have a right to complain, a right to confidentiality and a right to dignity and respect.
  • If you feel that you are not able to handle the bullying by yourself. Get help. There is no shame in this, the bully is devious, deceptive, manipulative and cheating.
  • Get Police or medical attention immediately if a weapon is involved, there are threats of serious physical injury, hate-motivated violence, serious bodily harm, sexual abuse, or an illegal act.
  • If possible assertively approach the bully and make it clear the bully’s (type of bullying) behavior is unacceptable. Turn around and walk away. The matter is closed.
  • If you’re a bystander, step in. Bullying usually stops within 10 seconds of bystander stepping in to help.
  • Do not accept criticisms or allegations containing little or no truth. These are not about you but are a projection of the bully’s own weakness, shortcomings, failings, and incompetence.
  • Don’t get into a physical fight with a bully or try to retaliate.
  • Serial bullies are very good at deceiving and manipulating. Do not underestimate any bully.
  • Don’t waste time in a place where a bully might target you, including physical locations as well as online.
  • Report his or her behavior to the proper authorities and document the instances of bullying so that you can take legal action down the road if necessary.
  • Recruit and ally or an advocate to stand by your side. Try to travel with someone or a group of friends.
  • Guys with high self-esteem are rarely bullied.  You may want to consider counseling or emotional support to help build self-esteem.
  • See your Doctor. Bullying can cause prolonged negative stress, which results in psychiatric injury. If stress is diagnosed make sure the cause is recorded.
  • If you are forced into sickness absence from work through bullying inform your employer in writing that a person’s bullying behavior has resulted in injury to your health.
  • If it’s a work bully see if killing them with kindness helps. However after trying this 2-3 times they still continue then cease this approach.
  • Work bully’s like to play people off against each other, so try to reunite yourself with your employer against the bully.
  • More and more states are enacting anti-bullying laws. Check to see if your state has them.
  • Document EVERYTHING, but not where others may see it. Keep copies of all emails, memos, and letters. Carry a notepad and pen with you to record everything.

Familiarize yourself with internet bullying resources so you will recognize and deal with bullying when it happens. When you or someone you know becomes a target of bullying, the above are all meaningful actions you can take to stop bullying. Please share this essay with friends and family to help put an end to bullying!

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