Past Issues gay relationship, gay men

Published on June 11th, 2015 | by Healthy Gay Lifestyles


The Three C’s For A Rockin’ Relationship!

by Rick Clemons

Ok, boys…men! Sistah Rick is in the house and calling forth his inner Diva Lemon-odd Pop, to chat it up with ya’ll about gay dating! It’s time to put down your phones, log off your apps, and get serious about dating. This will only take less than 10 minutes for you to read this article. An article that just might land you a man, boyfriend, husband, partner for life! Ok, maybe you’ll get a booty call out of it too, but we’re going for the more serious side of gay dating!

As we get started, I’m going to take you to the church. To the church of Pastor Rob Bell. He’s an ex-mega church guy that caught Oprah’s eyes, and as they say, “Once Oprah’s got ya…the rest of your life is magical.” Ok, I don’t know if that is what they say, but sure seems to be what happens. But, back to church with Rob Bell.

When Ms. O interviewed him on Super Soul Sunday, he mustered up his courage, put on his adorable boy next door smile and said this about the church and it’s perception of same-sex relationships, “I think culture is already there and the church will continue to be even more irrelevant when it quotes letters from 2,000 years ago as their best defense, when you have in front of you flesh-and-blood people who are your brothers and sisters, and aunts and uncles, and co-workers and neighbors, and they love each other and just want to go through life with someone,” Bell said on OWN’s “Super Soul Sunday.” Amen and hallelujah! We all just want to go through life with someone. Right?

Ok, maybe a few of you boys/men don’t. That’s fine. You guys are free to stop reading this and go back to playing with yourselves and your apps! The rest of you that are pining for a relationship need to understand three key words that will get you the relationship of your dreams, and they don’t have a thing to do with the size of his…

In order for you to land the relationship that will make you feel like Cinderella with her glass slippers and Prince Charming you need chemistry, communication, and compatibility!

Chemistry – This is the attraction factor. Duh! Well it might not be such a “Duh,” moment once you peel the layers back. Believe it or not, there are many a couple in the world doing their relationships for the pure essence of appearances. There’s not an ounce of CHEMISTRY, but they communicate just fine and they are for other intents and purposes highly compatible. Let’s say for instance that you’re really turned on by men of color. Could be you’re an Indian man looking for other Indian me to date because that what gets your juices going. Every profile you post on apps or gay dating sites for Indian men, clearly states, in your own words, your deep desire to connect with Indian men. It’s your CHEMISTRY in action – in and out of the bedroom! Without the chemistry, you’re having a nice roommate relationship with the guy you’re dating! defines Compatibility as “capable of existing or living together in harmony.” Now that’s a pretty big, wide open for interpretation statement, but it pretty much says, for the most part you and the guy you decide to call your man can do most everything possible in your relationship and get ‘er done and make it work! That’s right Tim Gunn, making it work isn’t just for the work room on Project Runway. No how, no way. In order to get you a compatible partner, you’re going to have to take a deeper look at what makes you tick, and what makes you tock, besides what in his jock! Compatible Partners, eHarmony’s online dating version for the LGBT community, just might be a great place to drop your drawers and start digging in to find a really COMPATIBLE relationship!

However, if you have CHEMSITRY and COMPATABILITY, and you’re not communicating, it’s a pretty high likelihood that the relationship isn’t going to last, no matter how many times you lustfully look at him naked and say, “Bring it to me big man!”

Communication – This third realm, of the holy dating trinity, is the HOLY GRAIL of relationships. I see you nodding your heads. I know you know this, but why aren’t ya practicing it? Why aren’t you working at it? Why isn’t this the thing you put at the top of your list when looking for a man with all the right moves in all the right places? As you’ve seen, based on the last to C’s, no communication takes you to some places that feel pretty empty. Or, if you have communication and you’re compatible, but there’s no communication, hello…you’ve created your own arranged relationship…no Mom and Dad making that decision for you. COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE. That is the magic potion for a great relationship.

Now that you’ve been bonked over the head with Lemon-odd Pop’s Martini glass of Divaesque wisdom, what ya going to do with it? Sit at home on Friday night and whine that you can’t find a guy with all three C’s? Holla gurl! Get up off your booty, get out there, and start communicating how compatible and full of chemistry you are for just the right Mr. Right who hasn’t yet met ya. In fact, as I said before, you just might want to head on over to eHarmony’s Compatible Partner site and see what you can dig up there. It’s at least worth a few key strokes to explore it!
Keep doing stuff, or being around people, that lead you into a Better Than Nothing state of mind.


Rick Clemons, Life Strategist, Author, Professional Speaker, Entrepreneur

You just might want to head on over to eHarmony’s Compatible Partner site and see what you can dig up there. It’s at least worth a few key strokes to explore it!

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