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Published on January 28th, 2015 | by Healthy Gay Lifestyles


Pride Rises While Fear Falls

by George Akerley
In an email to a friend who has been through romantic struggles, and with whom I’ve shared much of my own issues with being gay yet predominantly closeted, I wrote the five paragraphs which follow:

It’s a strange thing. Though I am not necessarily hoping to come out to everyone, I have a desire to come out more. The articles on Healthy Gay Lifestyles and on Primetimers Worldwide, where I’m now displaying my real name, are evidence of that desire, I suppose. On LinkedIn, we have the ability to hide the groups we don’t want to have appear on our primary pages. I have often wondered, though, when they’re listing posts made to commentaries that are cogent, might we not be outed to others who know not who we are? Paul has been forever telling me I have to come out, I have to come out, I have to come out (yes that’s a theatrical rendering of how adamant he has been); but that was really for his benefit and not mine, I felt. Nonetheless, I’ve actively participated in the LGBT groups on LinkedIn, now have gay-related articles published under my real name on the internet, began a Facebook page for myself (though I’m known there as George.Doliah). I also show my editing business on Facebook, and I’m open with much of my background information.

Virtually all of those I’ve friended are LGBT friends and acquaintances. I suppose that I truly do wish to be out…to be a participating and welcomed part of the LGBT community, to be known as a proud gay man, unafraid of those who’d try to dispense their wrath on me.

And now, guess what…I had told Tom Luke, the Healthy Gay Lifestyles Publisher, that I’d try to write an article about myself and my desire to change from using a pseudonym for my writing, to now begin using my full name.

Better to out oneself than to have it happen by someone else with a grudge or a specific agenda…that’s my rationale.

So here I was with all these articles I’d written using my pen name of TJ Travis, and I was desirous of letting the cat out of the proverbial bag. After all, what’s the sense of being completely anonymous to the very same people who’d celebrate the truth with me! The sense of pride I feel when I look at myself in the mirror (ignoring all those rough patches, of course) is empowering. My fear, which tormented me for so many years (what if they find out?), has abated, and I’m glad to say that – not only to myself but to those who’ll read this. Life’s too short to wallow in self-doubt, uncertainty and fear. Allowing myself to proclaim that I’m gay (albeit not to all) is empowering, and there’s a great deal of gratification that is the result of the truth being told.

Politicians do this all the time, so I may as well chime in: “I’m George Akerley, and I approve of this message.”

George M. Akerley is a well-traveled and enlightened gay man, with a fervent desire to help his fellow travelers through the processes of recognition, acceptance, enjoyment and fulfillment as gay. He has struggled in his own life with acceptance of being gay, and knows that others suffer in dreadful ways. By sharing concepts and precepts, he hopes to have a powerful and important impact on others in similar situations.

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