Mental Health Desperate man

Published on December 5th, 2014 | by Healthy Gay Lifestyles


My Big Gay Insecurity Blanket

by Rick Clemons

Take a deep breath and admit it. You don’t have six-pack abs, a perfectly chiseled butt, or that just got rolled in the sack killer hair. On the other hand, maybe you do have all those things and you’re still hanging onto your little boy blue gay insecurity blanket. And why is that? Wait. Don’t answer that just yet. We’ll get there.

Instead, I want you to take a deep breath and write down three things that make you feel most insecure. Go ahead…I’ll wait.

Got them? Cool. Now, look at each one and determine if this insecurity came from what someone else said, a value you were raised by, or something you’re telling yourself, or if it’s something you read or an event that happened that led you to believe this is your truth. Pick only one. No cheating.

If it’s something that came out of the mouth of someone else, please examine it for how true it is. Yes, you get to ask yourself, How true is this to me?

Moving on. If it is a value you were raised by, take a moment to consider if that value is in alignment with who you are as a gay man now. If it’s not, then do you really need to live by it?

Now for that event or something you read that makes you believe this insecurity is true for you. Are you really going to let every event and thing you read, create your destiny? If so, then go right ahead an get that penile implant because it truly will help you land your prince charming…at least for one night!

Finally, let’s address the biggie…the thing you keep telling yourself that makes you feel less than. Trash talk is trash talk. However, self-trash talk is the WORST! It stems from that space deep within where you’ve allowed that inner diva bitch to roar, and roar she does. Even if in your case it’s not an inner diva bitch, we’ve all got that sinister less than vibe going that keeps us from being the awesome gay man we’re meant to be. Well guess what? It’s time to let go of that comfy insecurity blanket you’ve been cuddling up with for all these years.

Let go of jealousy, comparison, if only mentality! It’s not doing you one bit of good to let any of those things be a part of your life. It only serves to diminish you.

Stop the catty trash talk about others. Why? Well buddy…it’s because what you’re saying is all about you! In some way, every time you trash someone else it’s a direct reflection of trashing your self. You’re deflecting some truth about yourself onto others. Just knock it off and see what happens.

Use your boomerang for good. Ever had really good sex? Sex where you were totally present, into it, giving out good vibes, totally intimate, and making all the right moves? And what were you getting back in return? Probably the same. As momma Oprah would say, “What you put out is already on its way back to ya?” Listen to her. She knows what she’s talking about. Put out I’m not good vibes, you get back I’m no good vibes!

Burn your blankie! Heck, you’ll go to Burning Man, hookup with a stranger, or even stand up and say, “My names (blank) and I’m an alcoholic!” All of these things require burning your insecurities. So why not just light your insecurities on fire? Go ahead and create a big old bonfire for the world to see. When your insecurities go up in flames, there’s only ashes of false truths left to sift thorough.

Trade in your blankie for a quilt. If you can’t burn your insecurities, then start trading them in, one at a time for new beliefs that warm you up like a fluffy quilt from grandma’s house. You have everything you need to create a beautiful patchwork quilt of secure beliefs for your life, all you need to do is choose to quilt it together…no sewing required.

At the end of the day, insecurities are a fact of human existence, especially for gay men. Where we get to kick insecurities booty is by realizing, insecurities ain’t got nothing on you unless you let them get something on you.


Rick Clemons, Life Strategist, Author, Professional Speaker, Entrepreneur

Ready to break the mold of let’s just screw and see where that gets us? Take a chance, invest in getting to know yourself at a deeper level, and create a life strategy for dating, mating, and making work Man2Man. Schedule your strategy session today for free!

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