Mental Health gay_assumption

Published on August 28th, 2015 | by Healthy Gay Lifestyles



by Rick Clemons

I preface this article with honesty. I’m in a bitchy, bear daddy mood, flying at 30K feet. Ok, now that, that is out of the way, let’s get this stuff out of my head (the one attached to my shoulders), onto the page, and in front of your eyes.

I’ve got a hard on. Not the one between my legs. Although, given the guy in 14A, Mr. Woody could spring to life at any moment. No, what I’m talking about is a different kind of blood pulsating vascular erection. In fact I’m going to call it a heart on instead.

My heart on is causing me to want to expound about really cool stuff that binds us together as gay men, rather than to only play in the realm of what gives us a HARD ON. I’m talking about the sexy stuff that disappears quickly out of sight, out of mind, the moment a towel drops at a clothing optional pool party.

Sure a beautiful, mushroom head penis with a bulbous scrotum hosting egg-sized balls isn’t anything to sigh away from. Nor is a 6 pack so well defined your tongue just wants to wash its peaks and valleys for days on end. And, a bubble butt? Enough said. No need to go all lonely houseboys porno on ya. We all can pretty much relate to the aforementioned prose being many a gay mans wet dream.

I’m advocating instead, heart on wet dreams that are even more mind blowing than a weekend of alphabet drugs and empty lube bottles. The kind of heart-ons that we remember and that stay with us long after the cum rag gets cast aside.

Try some of these heart-ons on for size.

  • A sexy, genuine smile that evokes love, caring, and trust.
  • A moment of quiet vulnerability that sez, “I’m just me. Take me as I am!”
  • A truthful confession of messing up that’s laced with sincerity.
  • A “God I love you man,” that has no sexual innuendo.
  • A genuine request of “Just be with me, no fixing required” that gets heard and understood.

These are heart-on moments that we as humans, and especially as gay men often forget to embrace and absorb. Why?

Gasp, what will my fabulous friends think if I actually let my real self shine through. After all, I don’t want to be left at the gates to the ball like a used condom.

More often than we change our Andrew Christians, we gay men, and I include myself in this observation, keep our stiff cocks; I mean stiff facades, pristinely in place, just to save face. Yet I beg this one question.

With all that stiffness and never letting them see the real you, how do you ever have a real life?

I speak from experience, trust me. My façade shattered 15 years ago, when being a jet setting executive, living in Orange County California, with wife, 2 kids, and all the accouterments, came crashing down. I was façadeless, and I started digging my differentness.

Yes of course I came out of the closet to fabulous in my own way. And, fabulous I did, until that façade came crashing down. Then, I truly went for the differentness jugular.

I pivoted and did a masterful pirouette, into being as fully myself as I can be, each and every moment. Is it easy? Hell no. Being me is hard, but so much easier than pretending to be someone I’m not.

The pretending, trying to be a heterosexual, didn’t feel like a façade, until it felt like a façade. That’s when the shift started, and where the shift continues to kick my hairy, bear butt today.

I like this heart-on I’ve developed to for standing in my differentness. In fact, it’s scientifically proven that we’re 99.9% alike in our DNA, so by god by golly if were going to have chance in gay rainbows of every day to feel like it’s raining men, then we better start dancing, and being true dancing queens our .1% that makes us unique.

That’s what’s got my heart-on.
I’m digging my diff.
How about you?


Rick Clemons, Life Strategist, Author, Professional Speaker, Entrepreneur

Ready to break the mold of let’s just screw and see where that gets us? Take a chance, invest in getting to know yourself at a deeper level, and create a life strategy for dating, mating, and making work Man2Man. Schedule your strategy session today for free!


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